After watching Monday night’s show The Bachelorette Men Tell All, there was so much talk about “Man Code,” I was inspired to write this.  Which is saying something since, up until now, the only thing that The Bachelorette has every inspired me to do was puke; but since I had a buddy on the show, I found myself watching it – more than I care to admit.  However, as the show’s Velveeta tractor beam overcame my defense shields, I became overwhelmingly frustrated on how bad a rap Man Code received and how improperly men were depicted.  Man Code was portrayed in a byzantine “bros-before-hos,” machismo-sexist, “Go wash the dishes, bitch” unspoken manner.  Either I’m off, or my fellow brethren on stage were not able to articulate an appropriate synopsis of what Man Code truly is.  I hope not to be out of line and speak for my fellow men on the show but I feel Man Code needs to be defended and have it’s reputation restituted. 

Man Code , defined succinctly, is simply owning things and having the scrotal circumference to man-up when it’s go-time.  The simplest examples would be:

  • When a round of shots come out for the group, you either drink it or say, “No thanks guys…I can’t right now,” or something to that effect. Dumping and out and then feigning to drink it is in violation of Man Code because it isn’t owning the moment.
  • When you “know” someone has a girlfriend and is “playing” the girl who you are interested in, you don’t shove a stick in his spokes without knowing all the facts and/or confronting him FIRST.  You approach the prick and let him know that either a) he tells her or b) you will, because it’s not fair to her if she doesn’t know the truth.  Then she can make her own decisions from there.
  • If you are some douche with ulterior motives, a lady back home (girlfriend or not) who’s twine you are still wrapped up in and you think getting air-time is going to get you the publicity that you desperately crave…then you don’t have much Code to begin with. You might be a habitual violator.
  • Men don’t have any issues with someone who is “too perfect” or who doesn’t fit into the group when it seems sincere, genuine, and unrehearsed; but when it all seems scripted, then the good-boy thing gets old quickly.  For every woman who says that is the kind of guy she wants: you wouldn’t last three dates with a Don Automaton like that.  Ask Jillian…she dumped the Boy Scout and keep the country crooner obnoxious bad boy around.  Is she a dumb ass?  Nope…she’s typical.  Most women want the unavailable, edgy, mystery man with some spontaneity that isn’t so mechanically “on” all the time.  I’m willing to bet my pimped-out, one-of-a-kind, beach cruiser on it!

In summation, Man Code isn’t being some pre-historic grunt or chauvinist playboy.  It’s being a gentleman who isn’t going to get all gossipy and Jerry Springer within the community.  It’s not low-bridging someone when you don’t have all the facts or don’t know the complete story.  It’s having the intestinal fortitude to back-up your actions and confront the issue – instead of tucking tail and back-tracking when you’re put on the hot seat.  It’s manning-up.  Man Code is about integrity…well, that may or may not be Man Code, but I’d like to think it’s my code.

See Man-Up

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