Sometimes I wonder where all my writing will get me…not necessarily looking for fame and fortune but would probably welcome it. I would like to think that I entertain some with it, that maybe others actually take away a message from it, and hopefully a few really grow from it. I don’t mean that to sound condescending, but truth be told, the more I’m able to verbalize and share things I experience, the more I grow as a person – so I figure this could be some kind of group therapy. Although most of what I put down tends to be fairly light hearted, very rarely do I leave it void of some deeper meaning. As I find myself in certain situations and predicaments, I can’t help but analyze things and want to put in my 10 cents when I see something that I consider blatantly wrong.

One of my favorite words and virtues has to be INTEGRITY. For me Integrity is having a sense of honesty and sincerity born of a moral foundation, which guides your actions to be congruent with your words. Basically, say what you mean, mean what you say, then do it like you said. As we all surf and check out profiles all over cyberspace, the word gets more play than J.T. and Kanye on 102.7. The word is popular, catchy and a solid hook…I’m attracted to it myself and use it regularly.

So often I become many friends’ sounding board. I like trying to be a good friend and I know that sometimes requires listening. I don’t really like to offer too much advice, for I believe most problems carry the seeds of their own solution and most people know what they need to do they are just looking for someone to hear them out and give reassurance. I’m also a big pattern person. I believe in behavioral patterns, and often see things systematically where others might see randomness. Maybe like this blog…but trust me the randomness will soon come together.

In listening to so many people and having past experiences of my own, I’ve noticed a pattern of so many spineless people. This isn’t about anyone in particular or anything that has happened to me recently but I come across constant examples of a total lack of integrity. Actually, consider this to be an open letter to those men and women out there that lacked the scrotal circumference to be upfront and honest when they are dating one of my peeps and I have to hear how they just got low-bridged.

From the time people have their first date to the time it becomes “official” there are many stages and steps, but no steadfast set of rules. However, there comes a time where I believe you owe something to that other person you’re “courting” – the truth. Now, I understand that if you’ve gone out with someone a couple of times and things just didn’t gel…you can just walk away…no phone call, no text, no explanations; it’s usually all good and understood. It might even be a little weird if you call a sit-down with a person you’ve only been on a few dates with to explain why it didn’t work out. Yet, when you’ve been casually dating for a few months and crossed certain physical lines I would think it’s time to “Man-up” and let the person know where you stand. Just going mustang or pulling a Keyser Söze doesn’t cut it. Nevertheless, I see and hear about countless examples of random shadiness that people pull. I would think that at a certain age and level of maturity these shenanigans would stop. I mean we don’t handle other aspects of our life this way.

As adults, when something difficult presents itself or isn’t going the way we anticipate we usually own-it and get it straightened out. Now, I’ve been guilty of just not being that into someone and pulling the rip-cord, hoping that it will just wither on the vine and dissipate. But I eventually learned that however difficult it might be, putting the truth out there goes a long way. It’s never really that easy, but then again doing the correct thing usually isn’t. It blows to be the one having to say it and it sucks having to be the one that hears it, no pun intended. “I’m sorry, I think you are wonderful but you are just not my ‘it,’ ‘pancakes,’ ‘type,’ or whatever” is probably all it takes. No need to sugar it up too much or draw things out. I’d venture to bet that any person hearing that they’re being cut would appreciate that person’s honesty and probably give them the huge bump in respect points. I know if I were about to get the boot I’d want to be told that I’m being put on waivers instead of being strung along, and I would venture to guess that most others would too.

The fact is that most of us know what needs to be done and for those who don’t it’s fairly simple but not so easy…Be honest and give others the respect you’d want yourself. It’s called having integrity…MAN UP!!!